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This Lesbian Japanese Teen Says It’s Been Really Difficult To Find Support And Information
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Tokyo Rainbow Pride participants pose for photographers before the parade on April 26, 2015.
In Tokyo’s Shibuya and Setagaya Wards, same-sex partnerships have started to be officially acknowledged. Societal acceptance towards the LGBT community in Japan is growing. However, school environments may not be prepared for this new world. LGBT children, in particular, still face multiple challenges — they worry that they may not be able to receive accurate information or gain understanding from their teachers and peers.
A survey focused on gauging the conditions of school life for LGBT students was carried out in 2013 by a group named Respect Life: White Ribbon Campaign, which provides support for LGBT individuals who are at risk of suicide. Eighty-four percent of respondents said that they had observed bullying that had been triggered by the sexual orientations of victims. Sixty-eight percent said they had experienced violence or bullying because of their orientation. Twelve percent of these cases involved a teacher as the perpetrator, according to the survey.
I thought that the fact that I liked girls meant I was really a boy, and thought I should try to accept that.
What is it that these young people need from their schools and from adults around them? What do they see when they think about their futures? We met Riina (her online handle), an 18-year-old high school student who identifies as a lesbian, through a social networking site.
Riina first came to our attention after she published a post on a social networking site. She voiced concerns over a lack of understanding at her school for LGBT issues. After exchanging many messages with her, we interviewed her when she came to Tokyo from the Tokai Region, where she lives.
Our impression of Riina from both her emails and when we met her in person was that she is wise beyond her years. She is very collected, and hardly seems like a high school student. It was easy to imagine that she was respected among her friends and teachers alike.
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Participants march during the Tokyo Rainbow Pride 2015 parade on April 26, 2015.
After spending some time talking to her, we discovered that her knowledge of current affairs was excellent. When we asked her why she watches the news so much, she gave us a wry smile.
“TV dramas only feature heterosexual love, which I can’t relate to. Variety shows often have oneetarento [effeminate male or trans female TV personalities] or okama [effeminate gay men] as the subject of their jokes. Such programs don’t give me a very pleasant feeling. By process of elimination, I now watch nothing but news,” she said.
Riina first realized she was gay when she was 12 years old. She was in her sixth year of elementary school and noticed that the people she had feelings for belonged to the same gender she did. But that’s all she knew.
“I thought that the fact that I liked girls meant I was really a boy, and thought I should try to accept that,” she said. “But the clothing I liked and everything other than my sexual orientation was female, nothing else was unusual. I figured that meant I must not have Gender Identity Disorder, and so I felt perplexed.”
Then Riina went to middle school and started using the Internet. In her second year, when she was around 14, she learned about homosexuality. She learned about the idea of sexual minority groups, and was finally able to understand herself. However, her new understanding did not mean her concerns disappeared.
“My parents said that the homosexual talents who appeared on comedy TV programs were unpleasant, and they looked down on them. I thought I was supposed to react the same way, and didn’t say anything to them about it. When I realized I was like those talents, I felt a sense of rejection because that meant my parents would think I was ‘unpleasant’ too, and my self-respect was shattered.”
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About 3,000 people took part in the annual gay parade in Tokyo on April 26, 2015.
Without anyone to show her tolerance or to talk things over with, Riina descended into apathy. She felt that life was no longer very enjoyable.
The turning point came during Riina’s second year of high school, when she was 17. Surrounded by her conservative suburban family and schoolmates, her worries had been growing deeper each year, and she didn’t know how to go about resolving them. Information was still difficult to come by. She consulted the books at her local library, but they weren’t much help.
“My school’s library had some books on the topic, but they were kept in the human rights section, directly in front of the checkout counter and it was hard to casually just go look at them,” she said with a laugh.
“I tried to go there when no one was at the counter and not too many patrons were around,” Riina continued, “but the contents of the books turned out to be rather old and said things like ‘It’s not an illness, so it’s not contagious.’”
I had thought the road ahead was completely dark.
Fatefully, while gathering information on the Internet one day, Riina learned that there was a sexual minority group that met regularly in the town she lived in. She gathered her resolve and went to one of their meetings.
“That’s when I realized that I wasn’t the only person going through these things, and that there are all sorts of people within the blanket term ‘sexual minority.’ I gradually came to be able to accept myself for who I am,” she reflected.
“I saw in everyone’s stories that even though they were going through a hard time, at home or elsewhere, they were going about their daily lives with a smile,” she added. “I had finally found a future to model my life on, and thought that maybe I could have a happy life even though I was part of a sexual minority. Until that point, I had thought the road ahead was completely dark.”
For a long time, Riina hadn’t been able to share much about herself at home or at school, but she recently came out to her close friends. Weighed down by her reluctance to participate in her friends’ lively discussions about their love lives, Riina had been missing classes. Her friends gently asked what was going on, and before she realized it she told them.
“Telling them the truth was very scary, but their attitudes didn’t change. On the contrary, they said things like ‘Since we’re good friends, I had wondered why it felt like there was a distance between us,’” she said. “Since I told them, our friendship has just gotten stronger.”
At first, she only came out to her close friends, but afterwards she also told a teacher she deeply respects. The teacher, who Riina describes as good natured but uninformed, had a moment of panic when she heard her confession.
“It seemed they were very surprised to find a member of a sexual minority among their own students,” Riina said with a wry laugh. “I still get along with that teacher, and I think telling them has been a catalyst for thinking about all sorts of things. I’m a third year student and I’m about to graduate, so I decided to tell my teacher because if I had ruined our relationship at this late stage, it wouldn’t have mattered that much.”
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Supporters of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community march to take part in the Tokyo Rainbow Pride parade in Tokyo on April 27, 2014.
Riina says she feels better with the support of her friends at school, but that she does not intend to come out to her parents.
“My parents often watch the news, and so they understand the current situation regarding sexual minorities and society,” she said. “Yet, they have no inkling that anyone around them might be a member of such a minority.
“My parents would be the type to blame themselves and feel they made mistakes in how they raised me. Plus, they’re counting on me having a regular wedding and giving them a grandchild,” she continued. “Sometimes I think it would be easier if they lived their whole lives without finding out about me. Right now, I’m living in my parents’ house and relying on my parents’ money, and not being able to tell them the truth is difficult.”
What is it Riina most needs from her school and the adults in her life?
“Even now, in our health textbooks it says, ‘When you reach puberty, you start having feelings for the opposite gender.’ In our home economics and health textbooks, the incumbent value system is that ‘A man and a woman marry and establish a household, and the woman gives birth to and looks after babies.’
“Even the teachers and counselors don’t have information on sexual minorities,” Riina added. “The health teacher knew about Gender Identity Disorder, but not much beyond that. In one area of the Kanto Region, an independent study group on the subject is growing, but it’s limited to that one area for now.”
“I don’t want minorities to get special treatment. I just want them to be able to be a part of society and no longer feel alienated,” she said.
Riina feels that seeds of change may be growing. “Our parents’ generation feels strongly that when a woman marries, she spends her time at home, but I think that when people who are now in their teens and twenties become parents the differences between the sexes will decrease. Just recently, one of our female teachers gave birth and came back to work very soon afterwards. When the students heard that her husband had taken paternity leave to care for their baby, they became very excited and remarked that he was a cool husband. That story didn’t seem to hit much of a chord with my parents, though.”
Riina is looking ahead to next spring, when she will become a college student, and is studying for her exams. But already she knows that she will want to get a job in a tolerant workplace.
“I’ve been thinking that if it turns out the company that hires me isn’t a good place for a minority, I would just change jobs, or start my own business, or work for an NGO making the world a better place with my own hands.”
That doesn’t mean she’s not anxious about the future. However, a 40-year-old member of the sexual minority group Riina attends recently said something promising.
“They said they hadn’t thought this much change would happen in ten years — so I have hope that ten years from now, wonderful things will be happening.”
Creating such a future, where young people like Riina can have hope and live in peace, is the responsibility of adults like us. Let’s do it for Riina.
via The Huffington Post
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Meet The Activist Who Helped Queer Women Of Color Gain Visibility In 1979
In 1979, Jean Wimberly, the executive director and founder of Circle of Voices, recognized a problem with the lack of women of color present at the iconic Womyn’s Michigan Music Festival. In response, she and her “sisters” took matters into their own hands to address the problem, Wimberly explained to HuffPost Live on Monday.
Wimberly described to host Caroline Modarressy-Tehrani that when she and her friends arrived at the festival, it was “nothing but white women” with a few women of color “sprinkled” throughout.
“I just sat with my sisters and we just talked about how overwhelmed we felt and that we needed to speak to the planners about so few women of color,” Wimberly said. “This was the year of women loving women, and so few women of color, so we decided that we were going to write something and we wanted to make a bold statement.”
She and her compatriots asked a group performing at the festival if they could go onstage to speak about how they felt. They were given 30 minutes.
“I was just blown. I was nervous. I was afraid, but I had to say it because it was such an awesome time,” Wimberly said. “It was like a little piece of heaven and women of color were missing out on this, and so I had to say something.”
In front of thousands of women, Wimberly and her friend praised the “awesome festival” but emphasized that the lack of women of color there “could only be described as racism.” She said everyone in the audience lifted up their flashlights, stood up and started chanting to show their support.
“It was just mind-blowing,” she said. “We got no sleep. They stayed up and chanted all night.”
via The Huffington Post
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18 Stars Who Came Out In 2015 (But You Probably Didn’t Hear About It)
In 2015, coming out still matters.
The more people who share their true and authentic identities, the more chances to erase outdated and false stereotypes about what it means to be queer.
When celebrities and public figures open up about who they are, their visibility can be especially useful in changing hearts and minds. Still, coming out today often isn’t the dramatic affair it has been for many people in the past. More and more stars now choose to make declarations about their sexual or gender identities in understated ways, like discussing a partner in an interview, rather than opting for splashy cover stories.
In fact, of the 19 notable people below, we’re willing to bet that you probably didn’t even know a good handful of them had come out. Check out our list below and add any other important coming out stories from the last 12 months you think people should know about in the comments section.
Michael Angelakos
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Michael Angelakos, the lead singer of the band Passion Pit, came out as gay in November during an interview on author Bret Easton Ellis’s podcast. Angelakos told Ellis, “I don’t really know what happened, but it’s just one of those gut feelings. It’s the same gut feeling I had when I said, OK, I kind of just need to talk to people about the fact that I am. I’m gay. And that’s it. It just has to happen. This was exactly the type of situation where I don’t feel like I’m being threatened.”
Lily-Rose Depp
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The model and daughter of Johnny Depp came out as sexually fluid in August via a friend’s post on Instagram.In November, Johnny Depp opened up about his daughter saying, “I already knew because she tells me everything — she’s not afraid to say anything to me. We’re super-tight and I’m very proud of our relationship. Lily’s really together — she’s a sharp kid and one of the smartest human beings I have ever met.”
Jussie Smollett
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The actor, singer and star of the hit series “Empire” came out as part of the queer community in March. Smollett stopped short of using a label to define his sexuality, instead stating, “It was really important to me to make sure that it got across that there is no closet.” He added, “There’s never been a closet that I’ve been in. I don’t own a closet, I got a dresser, but I don’t have a closet, but I have a home and that is my responsibility to protect that home.”
Miley Cyrus
Barry Brecheisen/Invision/AP
Miley Cyrus came out as pansexual in August while speaking with Elle UK.The pop star, who has long been an advocate for the queer community, said, “”I’m very open about it – I’m pansexual... But I’m not in a relationship. I’m 22, I’m going on dates, but I change my style every two weeks, let alone who I’m with.”
Nyle DiMarco
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“America’s Next Top Model” winner Nyle DiMarco came out as sexually fluid in October. He made the announcement on Twitter after a fan asked him whether he was into “boys or girls.”DiMarco is the show’s first openly sexually fluid winner and also its first deaf winner.
Reid Ewing
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The “Modern Family” star announced he is gay in November. After a fan on Twitter asked if he “just came out” in a previous Tweet, Ewing responded, “I was never in.”While Ewing may have been out to his family and friends and coworkers, it was the first time he publicly addressed his sexuality.
Angel McCoughtry
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WNBA star Angel McCoughtry came out via Instagram in April saying: “Yes we been discriminated against! We lost friends ! Family members are upset! They said i disgraced my religion! One thing i do know is that LOVE is a great feeling! My last overseas team threatened my job if i didn't write a fake letter on social media saying my relationship was a lie. But all i know, Love is a great feeling!”
Joel Grey
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The “Cabaret” star came out as gay in January at the age of 82.Grey, who was married to actress Jo Wilder for 24 years, and is father to “Dirty Dancing” star Jennifer Grey, said his sexuality was not a secret to friends and family, but that “it took time to embrace that other part of who I always was.”
Gus Kenworthy
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The world champion freeskier and Olympic silver medalist came out in October on Twitter, telling followers of his sexual orientation in a straight-to-the-point message which read simply, “I am gay.”
Trevor Moran
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YouTube star and former “X-Factor” hopeful Trevor Moran came out as gay in October. Moran, 17, released a music video for his new song, “I Wanna Fly,” in September that hinted at his sexuality, but he opted to make a more formal announcement in a clip which hit YouTube Oct. 9. “Basically — if it’s a shocker to any of you — I’m gay,” Moran told his nearly one million subscribers in the six-minute video. He then clarified, “I don’t feel like I was ever in the closet. I feel like I was in a glass closet.”
Austin & Aaron Rhodes
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YouTube stars, models and “Scream Queen” actors Austin Rhodes (L) and Aaron Rhodes came out to their father at the same time in January — and taped the emotional moment, thereby creating what became one of the most viral coming out videos of the year.
Yusaf Mack
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The professional boxer first came out as bisexual in November after claiming he was drugged and forced into performing in a gay porn film but two days later said that he is, in fact, a gay man.
Ingrid Nilsen
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YouTube sensation Ingrid Nilsen made a huge reveal in June, telling fans in an emotion-filled video posted to YouTube, “I’m gay. It feels so good to say that!” “I’m shaking right now because this moment is real and it’s here. And I’ve been waiting for this.”
Tamal Ray
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“Great British Bake Off“ contestant Tamal Ray came out as gay in September.The baker and reality star was a breakout contestant on the beloved British TV competition. When quizzed about how the show has impacted his dating life, he said: “I wouldn’t have a girlfriend, I would have a boyfriend… But I am single at the moment.”
Adam Rippon
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The figure skater came out as gay in 2015 in Skating magazine.“I want to be a relatable example,” Rippon said. “And I want to say something to the dad out there who might be concerned that his son is a figure skater. I mean look at me; I’m just a normal son from small-town Pennsylvania. Nothing changed. I’d just like to be a good role model. I’ve been honest with myself the whole time. I worked hard and loved what I did.”
Janae Marie Kroc
via Janae Marie Kroc
The world champion and world record holding powerlifter came out as transgender in July. Kroc, who is also the first transgender person to be featured in Muscle & Fitness magazine, told The Huffington Post: “What’s important here is that this isn’t about being a boy or a girl or something in between — it’s about being who you are, your true authentic self and there are a lot of people in this world that feel like I do and they’re afraid to be themselves for fear of hate and discrimination.”
Eliot Sumner
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The child of Sting and Trudie Styler came out as non-gendered in December 2015. “I think forever I was trying to figure out maybe … what I am,” Sumner said in an interview with The Evening Standard. “But I don’t think anyone should feel pressured to have any kind of label or tag on them ... Me, I don’t like to be put down to a specific thing. We’re all human beings.”
Holland Taylor
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The star of “Two and a Half Men” and “Legally Blonde” opened up about her sexuality in November.The 72-year-old actress, who got a 2013 Tony Award nomination for her solo Broadway play, “Ann,” revealed she’s in a longterm relationship with a woman, who sources have said is “American Horror Story” star Sarah Paulson, when WNYC’s Anna Sale asked her if she’d ever consider marrying.
Caitlyn Jenner
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Caitlyn Jenner came out as transgender in April during an interview with Diane Sawyer. In June, Jenner presented as female for the first time and revealed her new first name on the cover Vanity Fair magazine. The Olympian and reality show star was also named Women of the Year by Glamour magazine and the most fascinating person of the year by Barbara Walters. Still, not everyone was happy with many of Jenner’s political and social moves and she faced criticism for her conservative views, meeting with an anti-LGBT preacher and more.
via The Huffington Post
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Kindergartener Allegedly Barred From School Because She Has Two Moms
A California Christian school is feeling the heat after reportedly rejecting a kindergarten student because she has two moms.
Sheena and Lashaune, who have asked that their last names not be used, say a pastor at San Diego’s Mt. Erie Christian Academy told them that their 5-year-old daughter would no longer be permitted to attend the school because of their relationship, ABC 10 reports. This news, they say, came as a personal shock, especially since their daughter had already attended preschool there.
“If we knew from the beginning that this was unacceptable, they didn’t condone or believe in this, if it was such a big deal, we would have never started her off there,” Sheena told the news station. “I would never put my child’s emotional wellbeing in an unstable setting like that.”
The couple, who called the experience “heartbreaking,” now say they are now planning to file a civil rights lawsuit against the school.
While school administrators have not commented about the case to the media, ABC 10 cited a woman identified as “Kailyn” who described herself as the director of Mt. Erie, who told them that although the school has a non-discrimination policy in place, that the “Bible says homosexuality is a sin,” and that “we don’t condone any sinful lifestyles.”
Meanwhile, a passage in the Mt. Erie Christian Academy handbook cited by Salon and other media outlets reads as follows:
The school reserves the right, within its sole discretion, to refuse admission of an applicant or to discontinue enrollment of a student. This includes, but is not necessarily limited to, living in, condoning or supporting sexual immorality; practicing homosexual lifestyle or alternative gender identity; promoting such practices; or otherwise having the inability to support the moral principles of the school.
Attorney Eugene Iredale told ABC 10 that, as a private, religious institution, Mt. Erie is allowed to bar a student whose parents’ lifestyle doesn’t meet their beliefs. Still, a number of prominent lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) rights advocates are crying foul.
“The least Christian thing I could think of is turning away a child,” Rev. MacArthur Flournoy of the Religion and Faith Program at the Human Rights Campaign said in a statement on HRC’s website. “The message this school is sending to this child is that God is not there for her nor for her parents. There’s absolutely nothing Godly in their actions.”
Added Johanna Eager, Director of HRC Foundation’s Welcoming Schools program: “There is no doubt substantial harm is done to schools, children, teachers and families when a school tells a student that something is wrong with them or their family.”
via The Huffington Post
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LGBT Women Say They Are Tired Of Hearing These Things
“Why are you wearing dude’s clothes?” “You just haven’t met the right man.” “You don’t look gay... or bi... or queer.”
These are just three of the many ugly stereotypes and intrusive questions HuffPost Live’s Alex Berg dissects in this new video, “Things LGBT Women Are Tired Of Hearing.”
Along with menswear blogger Ariam “Sara” Geffard and human rights advocate Cherno Biko, Berg sheds insight into her personal experiences and offers a refreshing alternative, too.
“Instead of these questions and statements, you could ask us how to get involved in the fight for adequate health care and housing and other resources that not all LGBT women have,” she says. “Ask how to support us at work and how to make sure we stay safe in the streets — because we still don’t have job protections and guaranteed safety.”
One way to start, of course, is to share this video, because “knowledge is power.”
via The Huffington Post
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Teen Says This ‘Lesbian’ T-Shirt Got Her Suspended From School
A South Carolina teen finds herself at odds with administrators at her high school after reportedly being suspended for wearing a lesbian-themed T-shirt.
Briana Popour, who is a student at Chesnee High School, tells local CBS affiliate WSPA that she was told she needed to change her T-shirt, which was emblazoned with “Nobody Knows I’m A Lesbian,” or go home. School officials, she said, argued that the shirt was “offensive and distracting” and hence violated the school’s dress code.
Popour, 18, was ultimately sent home, and said she has not been addressed by the school administrator, whom she did not name, since the T-shirt confrontation.
The student came out as a lesbian “two or three years ago,” and has received lots of support from her family, friends and classmates, according to Yahoo! Parenting. She said it wasn’t the first time she’d worn the T-shirt to school.
Ultimately, she was sent home, and said she has not been addressed by the school administrator, whom she did not name, since the T-shirt confrontation.
The Chesnee High School’s student handbook prohibits clothing deemed “distracting, revealing, overly suggestive or otherwise disruptive,” but makes no mention of items that reference sexual orientation. School officials have yet to comment to media regarding the story.
Popour feels her suspension has greater implications for the school’s lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) student population.
“Isn’t that what school is supposed to teach you? To be happy with who you are? Maybe people will be more comfortable showing who they are because you should be able to wear what you want to wear,” she said.
For now, however, Popour isn’t backing down, and insists she won’t be making any wardrobe adjustments.
“Today I wore a shirt that says, ‘Keep Calm and Kiss Girls,’” she told WSPA.
via The Huffington Post
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